Every child needs support filled with safe people, places, and strategies they can turn to when school feels hard. A mental health toolbox is a collection of supports that help your child feel safe, calm, and ready to handle what comes their way.
Listen and Be There
When your child is upset, start by listening. You don’t have to problem-solve right away.
Let your child know that you hear them, understand that their feelings are real, and are there to help. Name what you notice and give them space to share what is going on.
- Try saying: “I hear you saying you don't want to go to school because something is making you feel worried. I wonder what is making school feel hard today?”
- Or: “Thank you for telling me how you feel. I want to help. Can you tell me a little more about what is going on?”
Sometimes children need time before telling us what is wrong. If your child is becoming more overwhelmed or you feel like you are hitting a wall, take a break from the conversation. Try a snack, a nap, a favorite book, or a long hug. Connection and regulation come before problem-solving.
Help Your Child Build Their Toolbox of Supports
Support looks different for everyone, so work with your child to find the people, places, objects, and strategies that help them feel safe and supported.
Toolboxes can include:
- People:
A trusted teacher, school counselor, therapist, social worker, friend, or another safe adult. - Places:
A quiet corner, counselor's office, library, gym, or a safe classroom. - Things:
A fidget, water bottle, favorite snack, or a comfort item (e.g. weighted blanket, sweatshirt, etc.). - Coping skills:
Strategies like box breathing, butterfly taps, body scans, stretching, or drawing.
Make Space for Practice, Reflection, and Adjustments
Building a mental health toolbox takes time. Give your child opportunities to try different strategies, notice what works, and make changes along the way.
You can ask:
- “What part of that felt helpful?”
- “What could we try next time?”
- “Who could you go to at school if you need help?”
If your child's worries are hindering their learning, friendships, participation in school, or favorite activities, reach out to the school. Teachers, school counselors, therapists, and social workers can help you and your child identify additional supports.
Support matters, and your child can build it into their toolbox.
Ellie Mental Health is Here For Additional Support
At Ellie Mental Health, we've created an inviting, comfortable, judgment-free zone where everyone (children, teens, and adults) can be authentic, overcome the things getting in the way of their mental wellbeing, receive the compassionate care they deserve, and maybe even have a little fun.
At our Denver Tech Center clinic, we see ages 5 and up, in-person or virtually, and provide care in English and Spanish. We accept most major insurance, including Medicaid and Medicare. See our website for therapist profiles and a complete list of our services.
Call our new client appointment line at 720-760-1944 or visit our website to find a great therapist match and schedule your first visit.
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